Adoption, Part 3.5

Just a quick update.  The 7-year-old boy I got attached to is no longer available for adoption.  It comes as no surprise, but it hurts all the same.  I have discovered that in order to keep any motivation to get things done (this really is a heinous process that will beat you down), I have to attach and pin my hopes on a particular kid or two.  I have to imagine specifically what life will be like and start planning for the future.  Otherwise, I just don't care.  The problem is, we have been doing this for a 1 1/2 years now, so I have attached to many kids at this point with no result.  And it hurts every time.  Every time I have to go through a "mini-mourning."  And I hate it.

 This one seems to hurt even more than usual.  Probably because we were so close and yet so far.  Stupid system.  That, and he was 7, almost 8.  Kids that young don't come up that often.  They get adopted by foster families and if not that, they just don't stay available for very long.  Everyone wants a kid as young as possible.  I thought I was okay with older.  And I am.  I think.  But I have to admit, the idea of a child that young appeals to me very much.  So it's harder than ever to let this one go, regardless of the fact that he is going to presumably a good home.  Not my best day.