Adoption, Part 2

Nathan and I had our second home study yesterday.  And thanks to honesty, there is a good chance this is going to take even longer than we thought.

A few years ago, Nathan and I were in counseling.  In our paperwork, we told them this.  Well, that opened about the biggest can of worms I've ever seen.  We had some issues we were working through, and those issues are not completely resolved yet.  When we told Marty (the home study lady) this, she said there is a VERY good possibility that the county will want us to go back to counseling and not approve our home study until the counselor gives his/her stamp of approval.

We are not against counseling.  In fact, quite the opposite.  I mentioned to Nathan awhile back when we had our first home study that we might want to consider going again to prepare for the stresses ahead.  I figured some work on the issues we have now and some preventative work for what lies ahead was advisable.  He agreed.  But then life got in the way as it always does and we put it on the back burner.

The frustration is no one is "issue free."  Everyone has something going on in his/her life.  Every marriage has something that has to be worked through.  And once one problem is solved, quite often another will pop up and take it's place.  This life is a test, and we are indeed tested every step of the way.  No one asks couples trying to have children biologically if their lives are free from stress.  For that matter, no one asks that of unwed mothers or fathers either.  Somehow, though, it becomes essential to be perfect if you want to adopt. Part of our paperwork included a stress test, which we failed and had to amend.  And now, because we were honest about our past and didn't cover it up (which would have been so, so easy) we will likely have to have counseling before we are considered fit parents.

Don't get me wrong...I understand the idea.  These are children with issues and they need a stable environment for once in their lives.  I get that.  We are more than happy to do what it takes, as I mentioned previously.  In some ways, I don't even mind putting things on hold.  I have a job I like and don't really want to quit just yet.  If I keep working until summer we'll be in a really nice place financially.  Plus, this is a big step and it is scary.

The problem is, we KNOW this is something we are supposed to do, and we're ready to just dive in there and do what the Lord wants us to do.  No parent feels emotionally, mentally, or financially prepared, and this is no different.  We are also concerned about how long it will take to get that stamp of approval.  If it's a few months, fine.  If it's longer...then I don't know.