Reality Check

Today at church a young man who's been married 1 1/2 years shared his testimony.  He had been in Utah for 2 weeks recently getting some of their stuff and completing their move to south Texas.  And he mentioned how hard it was to be apart from his wife for the first time for "so long."  And of course, evil, cynical me immediately thought, "You think YOU'VE had it tough?  Try 4 1/2 months?!?"  Yeah, I'm so being demoted in the afterlife for my evil thoughts.  In my defense, it was such an immediate reaction and I knew just as soon as I thought it that was not cool and gave myself a silent lecture.  Two weeks would be hard, especially if it was the first time you've been apart.

Well, after having such evil thoughts, another woman got up and talked about how much she missed her husband who passed away a year ago from cancer but that she knows she will see him again and they will be together in the next life. Even though I had enough self-realization to know how bad my thoughts were, I felt very chastised for getting on my mental high horse about the whole 4 1/2 months Nathan and I have been apart.  We have been apart longer than 2 weeks and it has been very hard, especially since I don't have much to do and am feeling a tad worthless these days.  But really, there was no reason to get holier than thou even for a second when at least we are both still on this earth and there is an end in sight!  Sheesh, I hate the way my mind works sometimes, and I definitely got a mental smackdown for it!